At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It was like getting head from an anaconda
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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