Don't you send me to vm
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
