He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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