U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
