is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
