I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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