So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
