Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
