I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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