what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
