K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
