Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
