I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
