Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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