Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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