I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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