piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
