I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
