so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
