I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
