what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
