I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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