How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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