No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no, he came in my armpit
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
