No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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