Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
