We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
