Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
