I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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