He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
