How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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