I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
