How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
