let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
