The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
