maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
