I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The uberlube is also flammable
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
