And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
