you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
