You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
