Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Naked. naked and bneed help.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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