U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
