Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
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