just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
