so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
