I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jerry, you need to find god
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
