: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
