I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
