I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
