69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
